Oh, sorry . . . reads of That Which Is, i.e. I stare into space momentarily and see visions and occasionally get handed "The Computation Result", there are the people who have had to babysit the rapist and have made direct eyewitness reports of "She lied about this, and screwed over that, and . . . ", and one woman I dated for a bit goes through this elaborate lighting of the candles in certain orders and wave the knife just so, and there's the guy I ran into at October Crown who may do some of this, but better yet, was dating for awhile the girl who is the rapist's kid sister and additional property and he also reported straight observed fact, and someone else I met with to work on this for awhile with simply stares into space and does her stuff, and . . .
And the gist of it all, several reports pretty much pointing in parallel and reenforcing each other is . . . .
>>---Emily is dead and out of range, that the community that the
>>rapist based herself out of Really Needs To Clean Up . . . And
>>knows it . . .---and I'm Still getting to play coal mine canary . . .
>my other-brother and I had a friend down in LA who had been
>really messed with, sexually and physically, as a kid. And it
>got to where she *liked being abused, and rejected
>friendships/intimate relationships with people who *didn't abuse
>her. She pushed both of us away because we weren't yelling or
>screaming or hitting or forcing her to do things she didn't want
Near the end, Emily acknowledged that my statement to her of "You lie to me and I will rip you apart because you *Are* an important Person *Dammit!!*" left her starting to remember some of what had been suppressed under all the lies of "Oh, Everything is Just Fine!!!"
And then in turn, she wanted to stay around the rapist because she thought she could help and heal her, and neither of us realized how much the rapist hated her and what she was planning to do to Emily.
>And it made both of us sad, but it finally got to where we said
>"there's nothing we can do about this." And this is, I think,
>true of you and Emily and this rotten woman Emily's with now.
Well, in this case, once I made the basic deduction of what had happened, I went to a variety of people and stated "Here is data, analyze it as you can, cross reference it with other data that you can find, and tell me that I am lying and demented, that Emily Is alive, and that she is happy . . . or, ok, alive and Unhappy . . .
The uniform feedback, all the reads, has been and continues to state;
A) Emily is dead.
A choice was given to her of going through with the rapist's wish for her total and absolute annihilation, where, as with the reactions of our interesting other problem, the reality of Emily being healthier than her and being helped by me was anathema, and Emily chose to "live" by leaving her body, never to return, now being "on ice" until the meat she left finally . . . . dies, gets destroyed, whatever happens to it.
Where Emily was absolutely determined that she would go to college and be a vet, at last report it has been stated that the meat claimed something about college and vet stuff---it having Emily's memories---but more recently was described as being basically just a druggie that was described as Very Obviously broken, not quite Just Some Girl like anyone else.
Oh, and evidently the rapist discarded the meat about a year after murdering Emily to first create the meat. About when she discarded it is apparently when she hooked up with a guy dating back to high school who then divorced his newly pregnant wife, and details continued to extrapolate from there . . .
B) Yes, I have a fucked background, but it is just that which caused the damage which has left me wide open for actual external shit that really is being thrown at me, first because I evidently have some degree of psychic talent, and next because the rapist considers---present tense---me to be property to be destroyed following Emily, and finally, my talent seems to still be there even as I've been doing things like mundanely putting two and two together to;
C) Very publicly document that a portion of the local magic practicing community is responsible for the rape and murder of a defenseless sixteen year old girl, and that the rest of the community, the part that wouldn't do such, but loudly professes 1) "An Ye harm none, do as you will." and 2) "That Good or Evil that You Do will come back to you X-fold", Now has to deal with the flip side to both laws, that karma Does Not just "Happen" . . . that one or more of that community *Will* pick up a ritual headsman's ax, so to speak, and Very actively go after the rapist And her creation And those who helped her, exactly as the rapist went after Emily, Or Else, in accordance with their own laws, the uncollected garbage is just going fester, and moulder, and *Grow* . . .
. . . . rather like this situation in our group, "But I Don't Want to be Mean, I Just Want to be Nice, and being mean is Icky, and . . . etc."
>> So at this point I'm slowly---limited multitasking speed and
>>all that---digging around for some Buddhists to disappear into and as you said, I dunno . . .
>Buddhism works. It's a lot more discipline than most folks realize.
Discipline? I suppose. What goes up comes back down. When the quarter in the funnel stops )$%()$@ oscillating back and forth and forth and back from all That "It Must Be So because I want or I was Told So, or . . ." then it will finally just drop through the hole and disappear.
>Anyhow, I'm off to Home Depot.
I finally went out and got the papers. I will have dinner, and maybe a nap, and finish the website.
Or intend to do such.
It's not something I'm attached to.