A simple guide to the Abrahamic faiths.

Cassiel C. MacAvity

    Borrowing from elsewhere, and then filling in the rest . . . .

    Think of the Abrahamic faiths as a series of movies.

    The Torah is the first one, and the Christian Testament the sequel.

    Then the Qu'ran comes out, and it retcons the last one like it never happened. There's still Jesus, but he's not the main character anymore, and the messiah hasn't shown up yet.

    Jews like the first movie but ignore the sequels.

    Christians think you need to watch the first two, but the third movie doesn't count.

    The Moslems think the third one was the best.

    Mormons liked the second one so much, they started writing fanfiction that doesn't fit with ANY of the series canon.

    After the Mormons, the Christian Scientists turned up.

    For the Christian Scientists, all of the previous movies are just fakes, and the actual movie is a documentary.

    And finally, so far, there are the various and assorted forms of Satanism---because, after all, just like the Moslems, the Mormons, and the Christian Scientists, Satanism is not a subsect of any other faith, so it is very definitely yet another Abrahamic faith, complete with all the inter and intragenerational bickering.

    For the Satanists, none of the movies are valid: Instead of a movie, what one does is free form, improvised, live theatre.


© Cassiel C. MacAvity